A best friend for a husband, two children — a boy and a girl, dogs, a big house with a lovely garden, a career that I love — this was the dream.
This is what I would tell people when they asked me what my vision was of my future. I began dating when I was 17, I had just begun college then. My partner, who I eventually went on to marry, was much older than me but it didn't matter because he was the start of that future I yearned for. My first dog-child Chino was phase 2 of that future, a gift on my first birthday as a married woman. When my first born human child was conceived, that was phase 3. Phase 4 was the career I created for myself when leaving the house to work was not an option. Phases 2, 3 and 4 almost made up for my miserable marriage. I tried, rather desperately and with great conviction, to hold on to my marriage as long as I could — hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. I excused every mistake, every punch in the face, every bruised rib...just to hold on to my vision. But I couldn't. I failed. Or that's how I saw it as a dewy-eyed single mother.
My best friend convinced me that I could still have that future, one day. I, of course, laughed because while it is relatively easier for a divorcee to find love again, it seemed infinitely impossible for a single mother. It turns out that I'm one of the lucky ones. I married again. This time to a smart and caring man with a voice that could make me forget all my worries to the tune of Elvis' Can't Help Falling in Love and the cooking skills to whet my need for feel-good food. He is the father my son, Zach, never had. My vision of my future was starting to look clear again. I rebuilt a decent career.
On June 3, 2020, we added another member to our family - our daughter Olivia. We moved into Danny's family house that has a lovely garden and even lovelier roommates, his parents. We have three dog-children of our own, a dog-nephew upstairs and ten adoptive dog-children just outside our gate. Our son has a great connection with his baby sister. Between Danny and I, we have stable jobs that provide us stable incomes and we are blessed.
I don't wake up to bruises anymore. I wake up to French toast, we have conversations, we make time for each other, we have a routine, we're all involved in chores, we take care of each other, we have...stability. We have movie nights and binge watch detective series and crime dramas. We do date nights and late nights. We respect each other's schedules and decisions. We have, what most would call, a stable relationship that is built on trust, respect and a whole lotta love.
A best friend for a husband, two children — a boy and a girl, dogs, a big house with a lovely garden, a career that I love — this is my reality.
This is what I would tell people when they asked me what my vision was of my future. I began dating when I was 17, I had just begun college then. My partner, who I eventually went on to marry, was much older than me but it didn't matter because he was the start of that future I yearned for. My first dog-child Chino was phase 2 of that future, a gift on my first birthday as a married woman. When my first born human child was conceived, that was phase 3. Phase 4 was the career I created for myself when leaving the house to work was not an option. Phases 2, 3 and 4 almost made up for my miserable marriage. I tried, rather desperately and with great conviction, to hold on to my marriage as long as I could — hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. I excused every mistake, every punch in the face, every bruised rib...just to hold on to my vision. But I couldn't. I failed. Or that's how I saw it as a dewy-eyed single mother.
My best friend convinced me that I could still have that future, one day. I, of course, laughed because while it is relatively easier for a divorcee to find love again, it seemed infinitely impossible for a single mother. It turns out that I'm one of the lucky ones. I married again. This time to a smart and caring man with a voice that could make me forget all my worries to the tune of Elvis' Can't Help Falling in Love and the cooking skills to whet my need for feel-good food. He is the father my son, Zach, never had. My vision of my future was starting to look clear again. I rebuilt a decent career.
On June 3, 2020, we added another member to our family - our daughter Olivia. We moved into Danny's family house that has a lovely garden and even lovelier roommates, his parents. We have three dog-children of our own, a dog-nephew upstairs and ten adoptive dog-children just outside our gate. Our son has a great connection with his baby sister. Between Danny and I, we have stable jobs that provide us stable incomes and we are blessed.
I don't wake up to bruises anymore. I wake up to French toast, we have conversations, we make time for each other, we have a routine, we're all involved in chores, we take care of each other, we have...stability. We have movie nights and binge watch detective series and crime dramas. We do date nights and late nights. We respect each other's schedules and decisions. We have, what most would call, a stable relationship that is built on trust, respect and a whole lotta love.
A best friend for a husband, two children — a boy and a girl, dogs, a big house with a lovely garden, a career that I love — this is my reality.
